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I will admit that I was a little hesitant when I decided to stay over an extra day after a business meeting in Tampa and visit Busch Gardens on my own. Who wants to visit an amusement park by themselves? After hemming and hawing a bit over the additional $95.00, I decided to book the Guided Adventure Tour. I knew that I would be with a group and sometimes that can slow you down, but I felt it would give me a bit of companionship during the day and help me feel less alone. Little did I know that I would be the only one to book the tour and would find myself with essentially a VIP private tour of the park. Consequently, I am sure my tour was tweaked a little bit, but even had it not been, I feel the additional money was absolutely worth the price. It was just more of a bargain for me!
As I waited for my guide, the educational center brought out a flock of flamingos to the front area. I took some pictures. I should have seen if someone could have gotten the picture of me standing on one leg in that flock of flamingos, but I thought I would try for a better background than a circle of tourists.
At 10:30, I met my guide, Tiffany. She’s from Panama and has worked at the park for four years, so she knows a lot. She was great. Being a solo tour, I was able to hand her my camera during certain attractions and let her take pictures for me. She’s very much a point and spray photographer, but at least that with that method, one is bound to get lucky on a few shots which she did.
Tiffany started my day with the Gwazi Coaster. Only one side of the dual coaster was open. I knew that I had the fast access included with my tour, but I didn’t realize exactly what that fast access entailed or felt like. For this ride, we walked up the exit. Tiffany held my bag for me so I didn’t have to pay for a locker. The operator saw her, saw me, and then promptly escorted me to the front seat of the next coaster. It was at this point that I realized I was truly going to feel like a VIP. With a group, it would have been obvious it was a group special. With just one person and a park guide, I could be a celebrity or press or someone exciting. It was downright odd. The Gwazi is a wooding roller coaster. I actually like wooden coasters a lot despite their bumpy ride. Of course, it didn’t take me long to realize that the wrap shirt I had chosen to wear was a poor choice. That’s right. With the wind rushing on me in that front row, I looked down and was very glad that I was wearing a respectable full coverage bra because everyone on that ride was going to see it in that picture.
Next up was the Walkabout Way with the kangaroos and wallabies. Naturally, I was all prepared to buy food for the animals, but no! That is included in the price of the tour. Awesome! I learned that kangaroos are mean and rather strong. On our way to our next stop, I grabbed some pictures of the flamingos. What can I say? I really like flamingos. Next up was Lory Landing. This was my favorite part of the day. Being early in the morning, I was apparently one of the first people to get to bring my little cup of nectar into the sanctuary. I hadn’t been in more than two seconds before I had three birds perched on my hand licking away at that nectar. Two perched on my shoulders and started preening my hair and bag. Then there was the licking of the ear. I guess all that sugar I eat makes my earwax tasty.
On the way to the next attraction, I asked Tiffany if there was a shop that might have a safety pin or brooch I could buy. We stopped by a shop and lo and behold, the lady disappeared into a back area and came out with a tiny black safety pin. It even matched my shirt. Securing my shirt closed, I now felt ready for the next coaster, SheiKra. Again, right to the front completely messing with everyone who thought they were going on the next ride. There was a part of me that felt guilty, but not enough to tell Tiffany I wanted to wait in the lines like a regular schmuck. Oh yes, I was already feeling the heady sensation of being spoiled. The SheiKra is a dive coaster that drops you at 90 degrees twice during the ride while your feet dangle in mid air and sends you upside down. It was rather exciting, and I had a great view from that front row spot.
By now, I had spent so much time taking pictures of animals and looking for safety pins, it was noon and time for lunch. Lunch was included with my tour, so I didn’t want to miss out on that. We ate at the Smokehouse which had excellent smoked chicken. Juicy and well flavored. I had read reviews that the food wasn’t very good, but this little stop was excellent, so I was pleased.
We walked by the orangutans and tigers on our way to the scheduled 1:30pm safari ride that was included with the tour. While waiting for that Tiffany made some calls, and the next thing I knew, she had me scheduled for a 2:45pm Jungala Tour. That tour normally has an additional charge, but I suppose since I was a group of one, they didn’t mind throwing a little extra my way. I’ll take it! I did not realize the safari ride was a standing in a big truck ride. So, if it is crowded, take them up on their offer of locking your bags away. However, since my good luck seemed to be continuing, there were only two other girls on the ride, so having my backpack was not a problem. The safari tour included feeding the giraffes. With only three of us plus the safari guide, the photographer, and Tiffany, we all had plenty of lettuce to feed to them. So many great photos, I knew that I was going to be a sucker for the $40.00 CD of all the pictures from the group. (The tour also gave me a 20% discount on all souvenirs including photos, so that helped a little on the price.) We also had the added bonus on the safari of seeing an ostrich get territorial. She started chasing the zebras, then the wildebeests, and then our truck. We of course, didn’t move, so she stopped since her planned method of attack didn’t seem to be working. Still, it was rather funny to watch all those animals running with her behind them wings outstretched. We also got to see the rhinos. The safari trip was a lot of fun, and I was glad that it was included in my tour package.
Next up, Tiffany took me to Montu. Yep, you guessed it. Front row again. By now, I was feeling pretty smug about the whole thing. I very much liked this inverted roller coaster that had a twisting drop, a giant vertical loop, an Immelman loop and a zero-G roll along with some other inversions. It was very smooth. We then squeezed in our last roller coaster of the day, Cheetah Hunt. This time, I paid the $0.50 to put my bag in a locker so Tiffany could join me on the coaster. Talk about feeling special. The VIP tour entrance to this popular new roller coaster is through the gift shop, backstage, up an elevator to the entrance. I had been so spoiled, I admit that I was a little disappointed now that I didn’t get a front row spot (that was never guaranteed in the tour) and I actually had to wait in line behind two groups. On the bright side, I did get to avoid the miles of queue prior to the ride embarkation spot. It was nice to have Tiffany on the ride. We were now pushing our time limits to make it to that special Jungala Insider Tour. Naturally, there was an issue with the car in front of us that kept us on the track a little longer. Tiffany had her phone out and was calling Heather, the Jungala Tour leader, to let her know that we were running a little late. We popped off the Cheetah Hunt at a brisk pace. I grabbed my bag from the locker and remembered that I wanted the ride photo of Tiffany and me. She jotted down the photo number and said we would go back for it. Then we ran, jogged, and walked clear to the other side of the park (which does not have a convenient cut through in its circular layout). Tiffany had called Heather to tell her to start the tour, and we would just join the group at the back door. It was really good to know Tiffany since in most cases, one would just miss the tour. Again with the backstage and into the area where we got to watch them do some exercises with an orangutan while we learned about the care and feeding of them and then back to the front of house to the habitat before going backstage again to see and get some more information on the care and feeding of the tigers.
As soon as that tour let out, it was time to get back across the park for the Iceplorations Show. At least this time we were able to take the skyride across to the show and save our feet. The show is not an additional cost, but as we walked into through the exit about five minutes prior to show time, I looked at the crowded theatre and asked if we had special seating. Let’s just face it. I had reached the prima donna stage by this time. Tiffany laughed and said, “Why, yes we do,” as I realized we were following one of the attendants down to the fifth row where she pulled off the “Special Reserved Seating” tags from the chairs. At this point, my luck started running out. I found myself sitting by a lady holding a toddler. The toddler was squirmy and kept kicking me throughout the show. That’s fine. I squeezed closer to Tiffany. However, what really annoyed me was that the entire show the lady kept talking to the kid in a regular, loud voice. “Look at the pretty lady.” “Look at elephant.” “Oh, did you see that?” “It’s snow!” (Yes, I did make the comment “or soap bubbles” to Tiffany having memories of the Trail of Terror Year of the Yeti.) Of course, since the lady was being loud, the child had no problem getting louder and louder with her toddler noises until at one point, the lady said, “Shhhh. You need to be quiet.” It was all I could do not to turn to her and tell her that maybe she should try setting a better example. But, there was no real point ruining someone else's day when mine had been so great. And the show was very enjoyable despite that little incident.
I should probably point out that I believe this is normally the point where the tour ends. However, I was getting extra special treatment in my tour group of one, so after the show, Tiffany took me over to the educational flamingos where I wanted to get my picture with them. Sadly, she didn’t have her keys with her as she did not normally need them for the tour I was on, nor could she find one of her buddies to let us in. So, I did not get my picture perched on one leg that I was going to post to the MPIII site in honor of our last show where I had to get “flamingo” across to Rob in the Three Things game. Tiffany did find some food though, so I got to feed them which was fun. We then had to go back the Safari Ride to pick up my CD of photos. On the way there, we stopped by the gorilla habitat for a quick peek. There I remembered that I also wanted to get that picture of Tiffany and me on the Cheetah Hunt ride. So, after snagging those pictures, it was back to the front gate where I said goodbye to Tiffany and thanked her for a great tour. It was then a little after 5:00, and my shuttle wasn’t going to be there until 6:00. So, I did a little shopping and then thought I might go back to the Lory House to see if I could feed the birds again. Off I went, passing by the flamingos and snagging yet some more pictures. When I finally got there, I was sad to see that they actually closed that attraction at 5pm. How sad. So, back to the front it was, taking some more flamingo pictures on my way.
As I waited for the shuttle, I finally took a quick run through the 264 photos on my camera from the day. I was laughing so hard at the memories, I am sure the people around me thought I was a lunatic. That’s okay. I wouldn’t trade the day I had for anything. It was awesome!
I made my purchase and returned to the house where I successfully managed to unscrew the pipes under the sink and start working my snake down the pipes. I would like to tell you, Ms. Austen, that plumbing is not a job for weak at heart ladies who are afraid of dirt and grime. My hands were no where near being lily white even one minute into the process. My pipes are not close to being straight, so I must hang my head and admit that there were some rather unladylike grunts, groans, and words that emitted from my mouth as I fought with pushing the snake through my twisted plumbing.
After the first unsuccessful attempt, I thought that maybe this was not for me, but after the second unsuccessful attempt, I realized that the drain was not completely clogged now and had a slight drainage. I was rejuvenated in my efforts. The third time, I was convinced that I could get that clog pushed down. I finally reached a point where I would take a break, return a few minutes later, push again, and repeat that process. Finally when I could go no more, I pulled it back out. There was nothing caught in the end tip, so I expected another failed attempt. I reassembled the drain pipes and turned the water on watching for it to back up. No. I checked below to make sure it wasn't running out from the bottom. No. I let water run for a good two minutes. No backup. Clear draining. Success!
At this point, Ms. Austen, I was quite covered in icky stuff, but I felt more like a woman than any of your heroines probably ever did. No simpering young missishness for me, oh no! I am woman, Ms. Austen. Hear me roar. Let's see Lizzie Bennett do what I did.
So, I missed this weekend because my family of blood obligations (sometimes sadly) will always come first. Now, to those of you who didn't miss out on the weekend: Get on with it and post your WILs!!!!!!! I am anxiously awaiting to be even more depressed by seeing what an awesome weekend you all had.
Okay. Thanks!
- Go with friends. It is even more enjoyable if you can go with friends who do not take themselves too seriously and are able to laugh at themselves. If you are lucky enough to have a private party, that's even better.
- Pole dancing requires a certain wardrobe that includes workout shorts. This is difficult for those who have long since given up the idea that anyone has any interest in seeing their pasty white, cellulite ridden legs and consequently own nothing but long yoga pants. However, it is possible that if you look in the very back of that drawer you haven't cleaned out since college, you might just find a pair of old faded biker shorts that are probably on the verge of being a size or two too small. Your friends will be nice enough not to mention this obvious fact to you because they know you are not stupid, and you already know.
- Level 1 is not just some light beginner dance steps in which there happens to be a pole for support. Oh no! It is a "stand on your tip toes, grab the pole up high with one hand, wrap your leg around, point your toe, then swing and lift" in which the "lift" part refers to using the pole and your arms and legs to lift your entire body weight off the ground. This will strike fear into your soul if you are unprepared for the fact that you are indeed supposed to be able to support your body weight on class one.
- Pole dancing requires upper body strength. (I have no upper body strength. Really. Zip. Zilch. None.)
- The "Hunt and Flaunt" move requires a very close relationship with your pole. So much so, that your pole should take you out for dinner afterward. I advise you to name your pole so you feel less like a one night stand.
- It is much easier to get down into the pussy cat crawl move when you are well endowed. Getting back up gracefully which requires large amounts of upper body strength (see number 4 above) is a completely different story.
- When the entire class lifts, swings, and promptly ends up flat on their backs, laughing hilariously on the ground, even the instructors will wish they had a camera.
- Tucking one leg behind the other while spinning around a pole in some sort of fireman like move is a lot more dangerous than it sounds. The teacher, with a much too cheerful voice, telling you as you lay on the ground where you landed after a less than graceful fall off the pole, "You had it until your shin hit the pole. I heard that hit. That was a good one. All right, let's get up and try it again." makes you inwardly call the fires of hell to rain down upon her.
- Sexy walks are more difficult when barefoot. They are even more difficult when you have to walk toward your friend who is desperately trying not to laugh at you. Remember, she feels your pain at being asked to do this. Also, you should not try to imitate your friend's significant other as she walks toward you. This will not make her sexy walk easier.
- Nothing can prepare you for the pain you're going to feel the next day. Or the day after. Or the day after that.
- Everyone should have a stripper song. I do not have one, so I am on the hunt now. Suggestions welcome.
- Despite all the pain, you still look forward to the next class.
Will I return for a year nine? Well, let's take a look at pro-football for some insight. How many times has Brett Farve said he was going to retire? And is he back playing this year? Naturally. He can't seem to give it up. Well, I certainly get that. It's nice that I don't have to make that decision today though. I'm really enjoying sitting on the sofa processing pictures and watching the Saints opening game against the Vikings. Perhaps I should make my decision on the outcome of the game. If the Viking lose, maybe it is a sign that Farve should have taken that retirement. Maybe it should be a sign for me too. I'm almost excited to see whether I show up for Orientation 2011 or not.
Eight years ago, my husband had to talk me through walking into the audition room for Scarborough Academy of Performing Arts. My goal, should I pass auditions, was to wear a pretty dress and be a pretty, pretty princess. Experience had taught me that I certainly couldn't expect to be a great actress, but I felt fairly confident that I could make a pretty dress and sit and sew. How far I have come from those days! I thank God for SAPA and for the direction my life took after I joined. SAPA did more than just reverse my lack of confidence in my acting ability. SAPA restored my faith and my belief in myself in many aspects of life. After all, if I was wrong about my lack of acting ability, perhaps I was wrong about other things. I know now that while I may not be the greatest actress in the world, I can act. I can make people smile. I can make a difference.
This explains why I am so passionate about the recent slacker award given to one of our SAPA performers at his Drama Club Banquet. This is why I wrote a letter to his teacher explaining how talented his student is and expressing disappointment in allowing such a negative award to be given. The response the student received from his teacher in regards to the letter I wrote was less than professional. Apparently, attending the second oldest drama school in the world cannot teach someone how to be a decent person. I wish that this Theatre Teacher could understand how much ability he has to make a difference for good in the lives of his students. I wish he could see what we see in this young performer and the potential that he has should he follow his dreams. I weep for his students who do not have a strong support group outside of their immediate family. (Let's face it, parents are going to be viewed as having a bias.) I weep for those who will leave this teacher's class feeling worthless and not being able to recognize their potential. I weep for those talented performers who will go the rest of their lives without ever realizing the joy and confidence that the performing arts can bring. I even shed a few tears for the lonely eighth grade girl who missed out on so many plays in high school and college because she did not feel worthy enough to perform in them. I am so blessed to have had a second chance. I wonder what Mr. Cox would say if he could see me now.
"I've just added Mistress Mabel to my contact list in my phone. After a woman has been under my skirts, it seems that should qualify her for a spot on the list."
